Fear of Change?

I read it all the time in both consulting and self-help literature, “People fear change.” Friends and colleagues have remarked on what they call my “fearlessness” in the face of change.  I have difficulty believing that change is what people really fear. I think it’s loss.

Many change situations, whether positive or negative, involve loss. Getting married or having a baby? Say goodbye to your old life; even some cherished personal relationships may be destined to end. The same thing is true when you leave a job, whether you are promoted, get fired, or quit.

The difference between me and those change-fearing people who find me puzzling is, I believe, a difference in our experience of routine. I find routine very aversive; many people seem to find it comforting. There comes a time, after I have been in a situation for a while, that my actual sensory experience of the place seems to set. When that happens, I can conjure visual and kinesthetic images of something original, dynamic, and alive, but the current experience feels ossified. That is the time when I am ready to leave.

 I have noticed over the years that even in people who fear change, the fondest memories are of life episodes that were brief and temporary in their essence, time-capped and changing in a salient way, not indefinite. Senior year of high school. College. “When my kids were little.” Being a newlywed. Times full of future are the happiest times. They are certainly worth the price of dropping the habit of the 10:22 coffee break and recap of last night’s TV.

The most exciting time waster ever

I just discovered the most exciting time waster ever. The Grateful Dead’s new and improved site enables users to create a list of their history of shows attended, with the option to add comments to each one. I think they could do a little tweaking with the interface — making it possible not only to search by venue or date but also to mark shows attended in batches.

Maybe that isn’t a problem for those who don’t need to select every single Shoreline show or every Kaiser show from 1985 on! I know I’m not the only one. I guess I’ll tackle the project in chunks, starting with the one-offs like the Zenith in Paris.

For my fellow Deadheads, the URL is www.dead.net

Enjoy!
Barbara

“The 4-Hour Workweek”

Although I am sometimes irritated by the superior, “cool dude” tone in which the book is written, I’m pleased, validated, and amused by Timothy Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek. Achieving the life Ferris describes, as you might guess, requires a lot of hard and smart upfront effort and quite a bit of persistence. However, the author seems to suffer from the same rage to learn that plagues me.

After my first 6 months in my first corporate job, I realized that I could accomplish everything that was required of me in 1-2 days a week. Bored sitting in the same chair, interacting with the same people five days a week, I wanted to be allowed to have five diffferent jobs each at the salary I was earning. I knew that such a schedule would allow more vacations and total breaks from work, the “walkabouts” Ferris raves about. I was less resentful of not being able to travel the world than I was at the requirement that I drag out 1 days worth of work into 40 hours in a gray cubicle.

This author offers one more data point to my theory that if you are even minimally above average in performance ability, working a “normal” job is a waste of your time and likely to be extremely frustrating — in a sense, what you’re being paid to do is to not be productive in any of a gazillion areas of life and to spend your energy and creativity perfecting your imitation a slower person!

Cynic’s dictionary

Good organization: an abstract structure for concentrating resources, systems, and power and joining together individuals rooted in their consciences, intelligence, and knowledge in service of collective goals

Evil organization: an abstract structure for concentrating resources, systems, and power and employing the energies of individuals unhinged from their consciences, intelligence, and knowledge in service of the (sometimes unspoken) agendas of parties with no clear accountability.

Call to Greatness

Before I heard the term “call to greatness” in coaching and new age circles, I had the good fortune to have an eighth grade teacher who was a master practitioner of the call to greatness. Part of his personal myth (probably true) was that his father had worked with Albert Einstein and that his childhood conversations with “the smartest man who ever lived” had served as part of his inspiration to become a math teacher.

He introduced to his honors algebra class an exercise he called the Test-a-Day-Experiment, “TADE” for short. Every class begun with a short test. Sometimes it was a mundane pop quiz on material covered the previous week. Other times, he would pick a topic in mathematics that would not be covered until several months later. We were pushed to deduce our way to answers as a foundation for deep understanding when the material was presented in the future. Then there were the days when Mr. Paige got creative, and the test would consist of a single question such as, “Which is warmer, love or a blanket?”

Every day that we entered that cozy room, which was washed in sunlight and smelled of the old wooden cabinets, we left “school” and joined timeless community of intellectual playmates whose members included the legendary Einstein.

With teachers like that, is it any wonder that I never developed a particular focus on grades?!

Rachel Carson

In this centenary year, Rachel Carson’s admirers and detractors are at the keyboards. The New Yorker piece lauded her work and legacy. Most interesting to me was the statement that, as a child, Carson “fell in love with the sea without ever having seen it.”

Dr. Edgar Shein on Social Coercion

I found a fascinating autobiographical essay on Edgar Shein’s site at MIT. If you aren’t familiar with Shein, he is the author of a concept he has labeled career anchors. He says that in each of us, one of eight motivators predominates in our career choices.

For example, the autonomy anchor drives the field sales person who rejects a lucrative move into managing the team. The lifestyle anchor moves executives (these days, male and female ones) onto what has been called “the mommy track.” The technical compentence anchor may have been the one that led Microsoft Chief Executive Bill Gates to change his role to that of Chief Technical Officer.

In “The Academic as Artist: Personal and Professional Roots,” which can be downloaded in .pdf at his official site at MIT, Dr. Shein shares the academic and professional journey that has included studying brainwashing in POW camps and the indoctrination of corporate managers. He attributes his interest in this territory to his personal history as a refugee and immigrant.

What interests me in this essay is an underlying premise that I share with Dr. Shein — that there is an inherent tension between dependence and autonomy, between every individual’s desire to be free and any organization’s need (even legitimate need) to impose structure.

I have come to terms with the idea that it is growthful, and probably necessary to my life’s work, to have some involvement with institutions. (As I said, I’ve let go of the idea of living off the grid, literally or figuratively!) However, I still feel viscerally threatened by organizations. It is not yet the sort of dance Shein seems to have found as a professor.

Silly Post About Gilligan’s Island

As someone who grew up watching a lot of TV, I am always intrigued to discover the perspectives of early TV stars who grew up without it. I love their sense of wonder about something that is for me so mundane. It is corny and sweet, but I am touched by it. From the personal site of Russell Johnson:

“I have received mail throughout the years from young viewers from all over the
world, year after year, who were so influenced by the Professor’s smarts that they
became science buffs and are now Real Professors, Doctors and Scientists.
It makes me proud . . .

Believe it or not the cast of Gilligan babysat some of you, many a time in your
lives. The little boys and girls that we, the cast, baby sat are now serving our
country, putting their lives on the line for us everyday of their young lives.
Makes me proud of you . . .

Now, many of you with children watch Gilligan along with them. You laugh together.
All of it fills my wife Constance and me with major affection for you.
I am delighted to be a part of all your lives.”

I think it must be pretty nice to look back over your 80 years and feel that you were part of something new in the world and that made a lot of people happy, even a little happy.

The Small House Movement

My post about Dancing Rabbit triggered a lively conversation with a friend about ways of approaching the problem of creating sustainable lifestyles. I recently learned about the small house movement. Proponents of tiny houses recommend them as a way to accomplish density without excessively tall buildings and as one potential solution to the affordable housing shortages that exist for first-time buyers in some communities. Many communities impose a minimum size on dwellings, I guess because big houses mean big property values.

The Other Stanford University

What comes to mind when you think “Stanford University”? Hewlett & Packard? Google & Yahoo? Chelsea Clinton? I think of my two blissful years waking to crowing roosters, cultivating a compost bin, and harvesting fresh vegetables from my own garden. Now when I’m feeling nostalgic, I can visit the virtual homestead of the folks at Dancing Rabbit, an ecovillage in rural Missouri. Many of the founders are alumni of Stanford and of the co-op where I lived, Synergy House.

I have given up the fantasy of living communally and off-the-grid myself. The idea still resonates with me aesthetically, but I think my calling is more nomadic and worldly. More Rachel Carson than Scott and Helen Nearing.

What I most admire in the Dancing Rabbits is their commitment to vision over convention, image-making, and stereotype. To advance the dream, the residents operate Web-based businesses and navigate the alphabet soup of corporate structures that can accomodate their infrastructure. They use 21st century communications methods. They write columns in mainstream newspapers. This enables them to keep the dream going day to day.